In 2 months time I will be in a car pointed west, driving towards life. For some time now, I have been bogged down in this mud pit called Northern Virginia. I must leave. For too long, the etiquette, traditions, and norms of society have suppressed my desire and ability to truly life. I must go. For months and years I have been sliding down the slick slopes of depression, into the cold embrace of the welcoming darkness. I must move on. I need the open road, the freedom, the experiences, life.
I will be writing as I wander. The diary of a vagabond, searching for answers. That is what this blog is all about.
The very fact that I’m writing these words means that my commitment to self-loathing has reached a new low, or high, depending on whether you take into account the small factor that I may be the latter at this very moment. Blog. The very word itself is enough to make me want to either curl up and die or begin dressing like a prophet of old and warning people with raised voice and raggedy beard that the end is coming. Why am I here? How have I arrived at this place. Me. The guy who has stood up agains the technological addictions filling all in mainstream society. The guy who has preached about the dangers of the artificial world social media has created. The guy who does not even own a smartphone. And yet, here I am, a blogger.
It is a strange, unpredictable, and ultimately cruel world in which we live. So many times, I wonder why I even care about the principles for which I fight, the travesties I fight against. Perhaps it is merely a means of coping, of surviving this melodramatic world by fixating on something. Or made it attests to something deeper within all humans. A desire to really know. A struggle for knowledge and understanding. Regardless, here I sit, fingers dancing idiotically across plastic and metal, the faint reflection of myself peering back at me from the screen, complete with reproachful eyes and twisted half-smile.
I don’t know what brought you here, but I do know what will keep you coming back. I am like you. I want to know what you want to know. The difference is that I have the balls, or perhaps the immaturity, to leave my homeland and venture forth into the wild, embarking on a quest for life. The answers I must find. The answers I need to find. The answers are out there and the answers are here. In poem and prose. In metaphorical phrasing, in black and white. For you to decipher, for you to understand. Don’t put off living. Don’t thrust life away from you. Thrust into life. Take everything it has and give it everything you have.